Panda
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Post by Panda on Jun 9, 2012 23:03:34 GMT -6
And the fact that from the moment they're born, your life stops being about you and starts being about them, for the next two decades. That's mind-bending.
Not everyone needs last names. They're cool enough without them. |
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Post by Ocean Wolf on Jun 9, 2012 23:04:53 GMT -6
I don't see kids as being a person whose life you can shape or have in your control? (if that's how people see their children then their children probably will end up screwed up. Sometimes I feel like that's what my father saw me as and to be honest that's why I resent him so much)
I see children as being little people who you only help ensure they are healthy and happy and given enough ability to shape their own lives. I feel like people severely underestimate children. They're people, they're as clever, unique, and talented as adult versions of themselves will be they just haven't figured everything out yet but that's almost better - they have all the potential in the world.
I know it's a cliche but it's true. I love taking care of kids just to see how full of personality they are and I always want to just hug them and remind them never to lose that, never to lose themselves because as kids get older, go through puberty, go to adulthood... a lot of people DO lose that in favor of fitting it, finding shallow happiness, giving into peer pressure, falling into low self-esteem, even just surviving. And it's sad. I would try to remind my kids to always be who they are and give them every opportunity to discover for themselves what direction that will take them.
But I don't want to birth any children, I want to adopt because there's too many kids out there already.
I'mma be like, "yes I didn't spit you out of my womb but I'm your mom, and I'm gonna love you forever. Deal with it."
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Ookami
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Post by Ookami on Jun 9, 2012 23:09:32 GMT -6
.... but still... Especially since Asian culture has such an emphasis on family names. In many counties you call people by their last names until you know them well and you introduce yourself by your family name.
...
LYSS.
YOU JUST MADE ME THINK OF THIS
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Panda
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Post by Panda on Jun 9, 2012 23:11:20 GMT -6
Hahahaha, okay Momma Korra.
And maybe control wasn't the right term. But as parents, you do have an impact on your children - which untimately shapes them. If my father never had an alcohol problem, I wouldn't despise it as much, and I'd probably be more open to experimenting with it. So I'd probably have a completely different social conduct. But I learned to be more forgiving and understanding, instead of bitter from the past.
As parents, you are directing these little people. Hopefully directing them to flourish and blossom, and to learn to always cultivate themselves.
It's a big responsibility.
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Ookami
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Post by Ookami on Jun 9, 2012 23:18:39 GMT -6
A huge part of being a parent is raising a child. Like it or not, you will have a huge influence on them and how they turn out. I remember that the Japanese kanji for "parent" is composed of the characters that make it mean "one who watches the new generation"; made from the character for "eye" and the character meaning "new". Or also can mean "bush, tree" or thorn making it mean "one who watches sharply, like the thorn of a thorn bush". Parents shape their children directly and indirectly. As a child, your parents are your first experiences with socialization and other people. It is from them that you learn how to function and behave. Sure, everyone is born with a unique personality and disposition and potential (I believe it was either Plato or Aristotle who said that the essence of man was potential. Man is potential). But parents do and have always guided their children, or by lack there of, caused children to be guided in certain directions. I for one know my family has had a huge impact on me, like it or not, realize it totally or not, they have
Parents are there to first take care of you and begin teaching you basic actions and behaviors and hopefully as you grow they help guide you and then teach you how to think and act on your own, but still act with the roots and things they thought you.
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Panda
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Post by Panda on Jun 9, 2012 23:22:04 GMT -6
I love where this conversation is going, but I am exhausted... Sleepy times for me. ^^;
Good night, guys! See you in the morning!
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Ookami
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Post by Ookami on Jun 9, 2012 23:22:53 GMT -6
ME TOO.
GOODNIGHT EVERYONE.<3 MUWAAH
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Post by Ocean Wolf on Jun 9, 2012 23:25:45 GMT -6
I'm not saying it's not a responsibility or that you have no influence, I'm saying I dislike it when parents want to control their children or don't accept them unless they [insert whatever here] or try to force them into being little clones of the parents or just what the parents wants them to be.
It's a huge problem and most parents do it at least a little bit, I'm saying I would want to make sure that I pay attention to who THEY are and what THEY want and work on encouraging them to develop that more than anything else. My parents never really encouraged my artistic side because, well, they're not artistic at all and didn't take it seriously. They also never really let me be me when it came to things I liked which were always more traditionally "masculine" rather than "feminine" things and they tried to keep me from sports, video games, outdoorsy stuff and tried to force me to go to dress up things and tea parties and ceremonies which I hate to this DAY.
And since I'm now an art major it kind of sucks because I never really was able to say for myself "no, this is who I am and this is what I'm doing" until recently so I feel like I'm so behind where I could have been if I had been allowed more chance to flourish as... myself?
So basically, even if I don't understand it and don't like it if I have a kid who wants to do everything I'd never do for myself, I sure as hell am going to be their biggest supporter.
yeah you teach them things like right and wrong and how to talk and walk but you can't teach them who to be. That's my point.
BUT YOU GUYS ALREADY WENT TO SLEEP SO I'M RAMBLING TO NO ONE LOL.
Goodnight!! <3
Also, Steph, I love Fluttershy but I would never say that to my kids haha...
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Ookami
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Post by Ookami on Jun 9, 2012 23:33:14 GMT -6
I know what you mean Lyss. I've experienced the same with my parents at times, dad especially. I know they love me but honestly my dad always wanted me to be this super sports star who plays basketball and stuff because he loves basketball and I'm so tall... but I have ALWAYS hated sports and have never been too athletic. Although I was never girly either and likes snakes and videogames and action figures more than I ever did pink or ballet or anything like that (not that it's wrong to like those things). Even when I was into taekwondo it wasn't basketball, so he barely seemed to notice... Also, I don't want to go into business, which is what both my parents do. I always loved the arts. Even if I'm not going into the fine arts like you (I did for a bit), I want to go into art history. I feel behind because no one has ever told me about how to go around doing that so I have to figure out what I need to do with my degree when I get it and how to get a job in museum work...
But knowing my dad always wanted me to be something else and that he thinks I'm weird and what I do is weird and doesn't get how okay I am with who I am... it hurt when I found that out. I mean, I always knew that was the case but when it came out in the open... Yeah. But oh well. It's not my problem my dad had some fantasy daughter and hasn't been able to face facts and realize THAT IS NEVER WHO I AM GOING TO BE... ha. Yeah...
But yeah. I'm way different in a lot of ways from both my parents. I'm much more "out there". I like body mods and my hair is crimson and I'm just a different sort of person.
...
I NEED SLEEP ASDhjfgfdksa goodnight for real
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Post by Ocean Wolf on Jun 9, 2012 23:41:20 GMT -6
Don't get me wrong though, I adore my mother more than probably anyone in the world and she has always been a great mom. Her problem is she's a very cold detached person so she's not really good at "nurturing the soul" if I can say it that way.
She loves me, yes, but she's not the sensitive type at all so her love was always "Here I made you dinner so you won't starve. Do better in school so you won't become a bum. Stop whining about everything at least you have food and school. Also, don't get pregnant. Kthxbai"
But she HAS gotten better and better at connecting with me as I become more of an adult and more able to just discuss things with her as two adults. I feel like she's getting more awesome by the day, anyways.
I don't really want to comment on my father, though. I don't want to start.
Anywayssssssss yesssss parenting.
Not ready for it yet. I'm thinking maybe when I'm about 30 haha.
maybe. >_>
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zutara21
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Post by zutara21 on Jun 10, 2012 6:48:03 GMT -6
30 is only a year and a half away for me... scary!! >.<
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Post by greenphoenix on Jun 10, 2012 7:40:30 GMT -6
30 is still a decade away for me.
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Panda
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Post by Panda on Jun 10, 2012 9:08:54 GMT -6
30 will be a little over nine years away for me... Not very far at all, I don't think.
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zutara21
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Post by zutara21 on Jun 10, 2012 11:44:59 GMT -6
BORING!!!  Where is everyone?? |
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Panda
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Post by Panda on Jun 10, 2012 12:01:08 GMT -6
I know! But without the distraction, I'm doing computer work for my job at home...
It was supposed to be completed when I got hired, but that didn't work out so well. Now my GM is basically threatening every employee to get it done.
I secretly copied the link specifically to finish it at home... :3
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zutara21
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Post by zutara21 on Jun 10, 2012 12:11:00 GMT -6
Nice!  I feel like when we finally have one or two people online, we lose the rest of them, lol. But glad to hear you are able to get some work stuff done. I vowed not to take work home with me, especially on weekends. Luckily, I haven't had too much of a problem. |
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Ookami
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Post by Ookami on Jun 10, 2012 12:14:51 GMT -6
Hi guys!
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Post by greenphoenix on Jun 10, 2012 14:32:29 GMT -6
My girlfriend is watching Avatar. My girlfriend is enjoying Avatar.
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Ookami
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Post by Ookami on Jun 10, 2012 14:34:25 GMT -6
Well-done, m'boy. Well done.
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Post by greenphoenix on Jun 10, 2012 15:40:14 GMT -6
I try my best.
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Where is everyone??